If you’re expecting an actual guide on investing in the Reddit WallStreetBets Meme Stocks, this isn’t it. This is simply one idiot’s impersonal experience. Me. I’m the idiot.

If you didn’t figure already, the following in not investing advice.

An Idiot’s Guide to Investing in the Reddit WallStreeBets Meme Stocks

When I wrote earlier this month, grappling with the fact that I was going to always miss out on Tesla and Bitcoin because they simply aren’t in my nature to chase, what I was really doing was trying to talk myself out of making some risky investments I had been reading about on the WallStreetBets forum on Reddit.

You’re Always Going To Miss Out On Tesla

I succeeded in resisting the temptation of a stock the group had been pumping all month: GameStop (GME).

I had been closely following the WallStreetBets Reddit forum, and ended up making small purchases in a couple of their other darling stocks early this month. But that dying video game business that used to be in the mall? Come on, I’m not that stupid.

I think you know the rest. GameStop exploded in a market disrupting short squeeze, and FOMO ensued.

Having watched this meteoric rise all month come to a head, I finally broke down by the middle of the week. My speculative fancy had been tickled. I had been knocking on the GME door but never turned the handle and entered the stock, which was hovering around $20 at the time. I was oh so close to a stock that returned 15x in a month (and obviously much more for the early Reddit degenerates).

The FOMO Intensifies

Recognizing that this obviously wasn’t a sustainable phenomenon, but convinced I could take some profits on the way up, I made speculative purchases in AMC Entertainment (AMC), Nokia (NOK), Bed, Bath and Beyond (BBBY) and Blackberry (BB). For good measure, I made smaller bets—and that’s what they were—on a few others that don’t even deserve mention.

And an amazing thing happened—the turbocharged returns to my investment account that I had sought came to fruition. All were up the following day, including huge gains from AMC. I’m not a day trader by nature, and the speculative surge had only just begun, so naturally I didn’t take my profits that day. And then the GameStop short squeeze hit the main stream and became a movement, and legions of Robinhooders pledged to join the fight against the elite and buy shares of these hot stocks.

This was it. I was in the eye of the storm and about to realize a significant gain the following day. But storms are unpredictable, and the wind shifted another direction. Robinhood restricted trading into these WallStreetBets meme stocks and left retail investors holding the bag. (For what it’s worth, I don’t trade on Robinhood—I use Vanguard like the Boomer I aspire to be). I recovered some gains to close the week, but the weight of the losers left me slightly in the red from the whole ordeal (around $2,000).

UPDATE (2/5): Fortunately for me, the damage wasn’t as bad as initially feared. I lost closer to $500 rather than $2,000 when I finally unspooled the speculative thread, thanks to some early AMC gains. Just a really bad run at the craps table, all told.

Did I learn anything?

I’d love to say that I took part in this speculative trading, of which books will be written with much more clarity, all as an experiment for the loyal readers here at Impersonal Finances. Even if that were the case, Financial Samurai beat me to the punch, per usual.

But no. This was just one idiot thinking he was in on a great thing before the public, and rightfully getting burned for it. So what did I learn? I learned that I needed to re-learn a lot of lessons I thought I knew. Lessons I had just bragged about knowing on this very personal finance blog. What I found out is that even with small amounts of money, I grow anxious at the prospect of literally gambling away my savings. The anxiety of the week is something that I won’t forget, along with the lack of productivity in all other facets of life. I’m simply not cut out for playing it fast and loose with my finances. Just because I have a little money that I can afford to lose doesn’t mean it’s fun to lose it.

Typically, I shun speculation at all turns. Over the summer, I read The Devil Take the Hindmost, which is a history of financial speculation dating back to the Tulip Mania in Amsterdam in the 1600s. It was fascinating, but got a little redundant and I didn’t finish the whole thing. Maybe that redundancy is because the point deserves to be hammered home.

Beyond the financial losses, which were not monumental but hurt nonetheless, the biggest cost to me was that of getting swept up in the exact kind of a frenzy I prided myself on being able to avoid. I was fully aware that I was entering into an entirely speculative corner of the market. I knew the risks, but felt the reward of a potential 1,000% stock gain outweighed the risks of a 100% loss. Had it not been for some Robinhood intervention, I think this could have worked out in my favor. But be it Robinhood or another institution, Wall Street always wins, as Nick Maggiulli details in this excellent piece on the Piggly Wiggly corner.

At the end of the day, I know my risk tolerance and chose to ignore it for a get-rich-quick opportunity. Because we all know how well those usually turn out.

Might be time to finish that book.

Entering the Age of the YOLO Meme Stonks

Like many, I am very curious to watch the fallout of all of this. Mind you, as an observer. Had I not been watching, with amusement, as GME rose from sub $20 to more than $350, I can’t imagine I would have jumped into this with such gusto. But I had been watching. And I jumped in head first.

So what’s next? Will these meme stock bubbles continue? Will Robinhood and other brokerages continue to restrict trading in the face of rampant speculative purchases? What will the SEC determine from tall of this?

We’ve never seen a stock go viral to this extent before. These meme stocks are effectively pump and dumps with the help of the internet’s favorite mode of communication. The general tomfoolery of it all is what attracted me to this forum over a month ago, and I laughed at their YOLO approach to life and investing. And then their biggest YOLO trade paid off in a massive way right before my eyes, and I questioned my approach. I’m 99% FIRE, but my 1% YOLO reared its ugly head.

VTSAX wins again

The bottom line is, I’m not a gambler. When I go to Vegas, I seek out the $5 blackjack tables. It’s just not in my nature to put money at risk. When it is, it’s more about the entertainment and free drinks I associate with the activity.

Ultimately, like going to Vegas, I had fun for a few days and lost a little bit of money. And can’t wait to get the hell out of Vegas. But—at some point—I will want to revisit. Instead, I need to revisit this post.

Experience is the best teacher. The lessons I once learned trading penny stocks in college needed to be retaught to me as an adult. It’s one thing to say to myself, “this is why you don’t do this.” It’s another to show myself. Back to trusty old VTSAX for me, bruised but intact.