crappy elf advice
Personal Finance

Advice For Writers And Savers From A Crappy Elf

If you’re a semi-regular here, you’re acutely aware that there’s no formal writing process to these somewhat sporadic posts. I try to provide some practical personal finance information based on my own experiences, but more and more Impersonal Finances simply functions as a very personal financial diary of sorts for yours truly. That’s kind of the joke. And it’s rare that you’ll read something–here or elsewhere–that immediately resonates with this cross section of both writing and managing personal finances. But I recently came across an article that carries some exceptional advice for writers, savers, and just plain old doers of anything at all.

Advice for new writers and new savers

This piece of advice comes from a recent New Yorker interview with one of the original writers of “The Simpsons,” John Swartzwelder. The author asked the notoriously private Swartzwelder how much time he spent on writing scripts, and his answer is genius in its simplicity:

All of my time and all of my attention. It’s the only way I know how to write, darn it. But I do have a trick that makes things easier for me. Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day, if possible, putting in crap jokes and pattern dialogue—“Homer, I don’t want you to do that.” “Then I won’t do it.” Then the next day, when I get up, the script’s been written. It’s lousy, but it’s a script. The hard part is done. It’s like a crappy little elf has snuck into my office and badly done all my work for me, and then left with a tip of his crappy hat. All I have to do from that point on is fix it. So I’ve taken a very hard job, writing, and turned it into an easy one, rewriting, overnight. I advise all writers to do their scripts and other writing this way. And be sure to send me a small royalty every time you do it.

As this advice pertains to writing, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Writing can be brutally impossible. But all there really is to it is just slapping a bunch of sentences together. Once that’s done, all you have to do is improve upon that existing product. Which is really quite easy.

What does this have to do with money?

This being Impersonal Finances, we can easily relate that sentiment to money just as well as writing. Similar to writing, getting your personal finances in order can seem a monumental task. The most daunting part of both writing and saving/investing money is often exactly the same for both endeavors: you don’t know where to start.

You might have some information that belongs somewhere in your financial plan along the way, but you’re not quite sure where it fits in. So how do you put those fragmented bits of knowledge in the proper place? The answer is that you just put them anywhere. Who cares!? The order doesn’t matter. Structure doesn’t matter. Doing something–anything–matters. Start applying what you do know, and you’ll give yourself a canvas to re-paint with what you learn along the way. By taking that first step–maybe cutting out an unwanted recurring expense or automating a bill payment or 401k investment–you’re filling a previously blank page with the makings of your own personal finance episode. Once you get a few ideas on the paper, you’ll have a financial script to proofread and amend.

Neither writing nor personal finance are linear journeys. There’s time travel involved in the process. There’s editing involved in the allocation of an investment account or discovering tax efficient strategies. You’ll no doubt go back and change what initially seemed a perfectly suitable lede paragraph. The hard part is getting started on the first draft. Being OK with something crappy and incomplete. After that, all you have to do is make your script a little less crappy than what you started with. Easy.

What can your crappy little elf do for you?

Do you have an activity that you’ve been putting off? Writing? Investing? Getting in shape? Building a relationship? Whatever it is, the best advice is to just start doing it. And start doing it very poorly.

There’s a great John Wooden quote that goes: “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?” Well, that quote doesn’t really apply here. In writing especially, doing it over is a huge part of doing it right. Initially, you should do a crappy job at saving and budgeting and investing. You don’t have to have a perfect financial plan, you just have to prove that you can put a plan together at all. As long as you acknowledge that it’s a work in progress, you’ll be off and running.

Turn a hard job, like saving and investing your money, into an easy one, like watching your money grow and making simple tweaks along the way. Or in my case, turn a hard job–like writing what will one day be a thought-provoking and intelligent blog post–into an easy one: writing and publishing the crappy version of this post you’re reading now.

Whatever it is, go try it. Get started. Give yourself something to fix, and you’ll be left with something a hell of a lot better than the nothing that you started with.

26 thoughts on “Advice For Writers And Savers From A Crappy Elf

  1. For me the money thing is straightforward. You preserve as much of the money coming in as you can, reduce the money out. Then from the ever growing saving amount it is important to plug those resources into holdings that return an ideal amount every year per investment chunks, which were a bit riskier in youth. Writing for me is hard though because my brain wants to branch out to cover unrelated yet related things. It isn’t that I don’t know where to start it is just a lot of the time to understand how one thing works you have to understand how this other thing works and so on so basically a lot of first stuff is a rambling mess. Though I definitely agree with this idea that people get so caught in things being perfect they don’t realize an imperfect start is better than nothing and you can correct and refine as you go.

    1. I think the revelation about money comes at different times for different people. Once it clicks, it clicks. And it really is easy. Writing can be like catching a bar of soap–you have it one day, the next it escapes you.

  2. This is a really inspiring post. Your first drafts are probably a hundred times better than my final, revised versions.

    I’m a former software engineer, and I approach writing much like coding. I have an overall idea of what I want to write about. I create stubs as logically as I can for my sections. I may start fleshing out those sections, or I might put a “#TODO” note for later. Before I do this, writing seems so daunting. Getting started is definitely the hard part, in writing, with finances, and in almost everything in life.

    I’m rambling a bit now, but I’ve started to play piano again. I’m running into the same problems I had when I was younger. I can’t seem to get past the first page, or even the first few lines, before wanting to fine tune and fix all my mistakes. I probably need to do a few rounds straight through the entire piece first.

    1. Ha–that is nice of you to say, but I doubt it! Different brains operating in different ways, and your coding background probably serves you well in your process.

      I tried to pick up piano a few years ago but didn’t stick with it–I think I spend too much time sitting on my butt as it is haha.

    1. Haha I like Bye Bye Elf has an investing phrase better than Buy The Dip… I am dealing with those same elves in these FOMO times. Getting started is the hard part–but staying out of your own way once you start is a close second.

    1. The nature of blogging is definitely a huge plus. It’s not like term paper level stress. Just throw some words onto the screen and press a button so other people can read them. That’s not so hard after all!

  3. Great topic. As per usual, I’m likely the outlier here in that I find the initial writing to be extremely easy and very fast. Putting the endo-skeleton together is a breeze, it’s the turning it into a kick-ass Terminator T-1000 that I struggle with. In fact, even after hours of re-write work I can barely get it to resemble a reject from the Walking Dead. The analog for investing here definitely works. I should do more of that and buy me a crappy elf to help on my re-writes 😎

    1. That is interesting! I think sometimes I come out of the gates expecting myself to have a finished product before I type out the first word. So I get ahead of myself and get overwhelmed at how difficult it will be to turn the nothing that I have into something that’s actually good. Much easier to just focus on turning nothing into something.

      That’s how I was when I started invested–intimidated with a serious case of analysis paralysis. Thankfully index funds broke that spell for me.

    1. One hundred percent. Just showing up is way more than half the battle. We fear what we haven’t done, and the only way to get over that fear is to do. It’d be easy if it weren’t so hard.

  4. Great piece. I love it when the craft of writing can get mixed into PF blogs. I write slow. I have a bad habit of rereading what I previously wrote and editing along the way till I hit where I need to continue again. Painful process and I do it way more with my fiction than blogging luckily. Now that I have kids I try to bang it out as fast as I can much like the New Yorker article advises. Or else nothing would ever get written in my household.

    The toughest part is the editing time frame. I find the longer you let a piece of writing sit, the better and more efficient the editing process is. Luckily with a blog, we can edit after the publish button has been hit.

    1. Absolutely–writing can always be improved for future readers. The flexibility of a blog versus something more permanent is a huge relief. If I were to try and write a book I’d spend the next decade on the opening paragraph.

      Writing is one of those funny things that you can do as perfectly as you intended to–and then go back and read it a week later and think it sucks.

    2. I agree. This post was a nice find in my PF reading and just what I needed. I think it is very relatable to most of the PF bloggers and you definitely hit the nail on the head for me. I find myself editing the sentences as they are typed and end up rewriting the same sentence over and over. This gets me no where. I’m resorting to pen and paper to help me overcome my persistent first pass editing habit. Let’s see how the crappy little elf does for me.

      1. I used to write in a separate word doc but found that I would overedit myself, so I just start with wordpress directly these days. Pen and paper isn’t a bad idea–or even a typewriter elf! The ability to instantly delete and move words around isn’t always beneficial at the outset.

        1. I tend to write my posts by hand first – mechanical pencil and dot grid paper, in my case – and then pull from that into my blog. I have noticed that I don’t need to finish an entire draft by hand anymore – getting the first half or so down on paper gives me enough momentum that when I’ve typed that much, my thoughts have subconsciously organized into themes for the rest of the post.

          My preferred place for constant refinement is actually in the spreadsheets I created to plan my budget and track my paychecks. They started as the bare necessity in order to show me in one place what I had and what I needed to do with it. Over the years, I’ve played around with them, adding links between the two to play with what happens when I change my pre-tax withholdings, and reflecting in real time what I expect to receive each pay period. I’ve added pages to track other financial trends over time – things that I have to dig through a bunch of different account statements to find, pulled together into one place. I’ve extended my projections out for over a decade, and then changed the assumptions around to see what different scenarios look like. And then every now and again I go back to the first year I tracked my paycheck, and I appreciate the fact that I just dug in and got started – but I also feel smug about how much better it is now!

          1. Mechanical pencil and dot grid paper–I love that! Amazing. Everybody has a different process–with writing and money.

            Do you use Mint or Personal Capital at all? I think they are great ways to simplify your accounts into one place. And you should feel proud, not smug!

    1. Just a great quote–hit me like a ton of bricks! It really is getting off the starting blocks that is the hard part for me. The writing itself–moving different sentences around as they come–can be super fulfilling. But it doesn’t always work that way, and sometimes you do just have to crap something out and figure the rest out later.

  5. Great read, Impersonal Finances. I used spend so much time on every line, but now I write entire posts in an hour or so. It really is all in the editing. As a blogger, you can always go back and edit it more even after the post has been published. This advice can really be applied to anything. You just have to start. After that, you can break it down into steps. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thanks Graham! The blog formatting component (formatting links, throwing in key words, etc.) is the time suck for me. Sometimes I’m the crappy little elf myself, and I’ll write something and then save the formatting for this other jerk to do tomorrow.

      I procrastinate a lot and it’s always amazing how little time the actual doing of whatever I’m putting off takes. Just do it and stop thinking about it all day, idiot!

  6. My little elf likes to get drunk and write things. I have a great time editing his words and trying to decipher what he wrote the night before.

  7. we just started getting the new yorker. i find much of it pompous and pretentious and lacking in fart jokes. however, gems like the one you provided make it worth the price of admission. you make a great point about trying to get started on anything. don’t worry about perfection or even quality on day one. i heard jack nicklaus talk about teaching golf once. his advice: start by just hitting the ball.

    1. I can’t say I’ve read much else in the New Yorker over the last year, but this popped up on my twitter feed. A Simpsons writer has to be somewhat adjacent to fart jokes.

      I’m going to have to apply that Jack Nicklaus advice to my own golf game. I wish I’d thought of that sooner!

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